Pulling Back to Reaffirm a Marriage Vow

Surely, in over twenty years of marriage, there were moments when my husband and I had to fight extra hard for making certain that we keep our union a union. Although it appears we’re winning the challenge, there were difficult days, for sure. Hence, staying on course faith-wise and accepting that three makes for a stronger knot is crucial. And before some get too funny, the third must not be one that defiles the sacred vow of marriage.

And would you agree that in all likelihood, the strength, vitality, and vibrancy of marriage is linked to both the consistency of time well spent together relearning about each other’s soul, reaffirming the commitment made to the union and resubmitting to each other’s love and honor?

I said it before; it is important that we make time for uninterrupted moments of stillness, prayers, meditation, and allow us to be luxuriously suspended into nothingness at some point during the day. Being suspended into nothingness, being free from all noises including our thoughts is liberating, and if there’s a need for it, it’s also revivifying. The same could hold true for a husband and wife relationship. Although highly encouraged, the process shouldn’t necessarily be on a daily basis. The frequency and the schedule are a commitment that two people need to agree on together.

Stillness. It’s imperative that we allow everything within be in harmony with itself.

Prayers. Joining hands in prayer and letting go of everything give a sense of unity and allow us not just to show up but be also ready for meaningful conversation.

Meditation. Now we’re ready to make time reflecting upon God’s words.

Then, we filter out noises and distractions to have our mind, body, and soul reach a place of nothingness, or as Pico Iyer refers to such as the “empty space.”

Through a place of nothingness, our heart and mind are calmed, quieted and readied for a renewed spirit and pouring of blessings. Being able to do this on a regular basis allows the regularity of intentions be transformed into becoming a lifestyle of consistency that gears towards a continuing maturity and openness.

Achieving a healthy level of consistency is like having daily doses of retreats. A retreat leads us to a personal sanctuary. It allows us to be in communion with our self, with partners, and/or with a Supreme Being. To me, a retreat is a place where you give no room for any form of distraction. It is somewhere where in the presence of silence we get not just to understand but also learn to accept. Pico Iyer’s take on silence aptly describes a place of retreat as I envision it,

“Silence is something that is more than just a pause; it is that enchanted place where space is cleared, and time is stayed, and the horizon itself expands. In silence, we often say, we can hear ourselves think, but what is truer to say is that in silence, we can hear ourselves not think….In silence, we might better say, we can hear someone else think.”



Psalms 131:2 talks about how this calmness and quietness bring us to a place where we commit to trusting the Lord fully and having a life filled with hope and incredible expectations. The verse says, “But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

My husband, whom I gingerly refer to as my Lovesky, and I knew for a fact that any bump in our relationship is primarily due to a disconnect. So how did the getaway help us reconnect? An after marriage retreat reflection presents a question of whether he and I were able to get to a place of silence, and consequently heard the other person’s voice instead of our individual thoughts. If we were, how long were we able to sustain it during the whole event?

Regardless, what held true to us was not so much as understanding each other’s position in as much as the willingness to accept each other despite a possible inability to reach any level of understanding. Additionally, it was also the acknowledgment that the third to the three that made for a stronger knot is God himself who continued to be present in our marriage since the day my husband, and I made our vows to love, protect, and honor each other.


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤


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